Wonders Never Cease
posted by Lanie Sept 3, 2018
Thanks for sharing this story!
We were on the dock waiting to meet guests coming over from Bar Harbor to join us at a restaurant. While waiting, we sat next to a couple on a bench.She remarked on a photo Rich bought and we got to talking. I asked where they lived - she said "the Amherst area" I said the only people I know out that way - Lanie and Bud. She was in shock and said that you introduced them and they are now celebrating their 4th (maybe 5th) wedding anniversary! They live in Leverett. We took their photo for them and they took ours.
Love to you and Bud
posted by Lanie April 30, 2018
What better way to finally feel spring is upon us:
We wanted to let you know that we are getting married tomorrow morning, May 1st, in Wellfleet at sunrise. It was through your efforts that we found each other almost nine years ago. Thank you so much for that.
Sarah and Ned, Springfield
posted by Lanie Jan 25, 2018
Joan here. Just letting you know that Philip and I are in our 12th year together & very happy. We owe it all to you.
Thanks so much!
Joan from Amherst
New Old News
posted by Lanie Jan 4, 2018
Older news - but not yet shared here!
We can't remember if we let you know, but you helped us find each other in the fall/winter of 2010.
After dating on and off for about a year, we moved in together in fall 2011 (during that freak Halloween snow storm), and married at an old inn in VT in January 2015.
We just wanted to thank you.
Jon & Jean
posted by Lanie Dec 14, 2017
A wedding announcement and an engagement started my week off right. Happy Holidays and hoping everyone finds their match in 2018.
Hi Lanie - Just to give you some exciting news Kelly and I are now engaged to be married. We are so thrilled you introduced us. I hope you have a great holiday.
Justin Amherst, MA
Gift Certificates Are Here!
posted by Lanie Nov 10, 2017
A gift certificate to Mass Match is a great gift for your favorite single.
Call or email Lanie for details: 413-665-3218
A Maine Wedding
posted by Lanie Oct 4, 2017
Sent along a couple wedding photos from our simple ceremony along the northern Maine coast in August.
We're doing great!
- Michael, VT
Mass Match on DatingAdvice.com
posted by Lanie Aug 8, 2017
You can read their full story about us here on www.datingadvice.com
Lots of Happy News
posted by Lanie Jul 10, 2017
I just wanted to again say thank you. Stella and I married in Ireland this past May. She is the love of my life and I am extremely happy we met 2 1/2 years ago, thanks to you
- Len Capital Region, CT
Kevin and I would like to invite you to our wedding. We are getting married in Punta Gorda, FL on September 30, 2017. Let me know!
- Nancy Chicopee, MA
Just In: Janet and David
posted by Lanie Oct 20, 2016
Please look at the attached photo of a very happy couple. It was taken on October 8 in our yard in Leverett, just moments after Dave and I got married!
Thanks for introducing us!
posted by Lanie Oct 17th
This week alone 4 couples told me they were exploring a relationship. What a great way to head into the holiday season! --Lanie
posted by Lanie Sep 13th
Just received some great news:
Hi Lanie,--Kevin and Cosette
Cosette and I were married on May 5, 2016. Thank you for matching us.
Mass Match couple in NY Times today June 12
posted by Lanie June 12, 2016
About the New York Times article A Message Never Mailed but Delivered
Wanted to share that Mark Newey and I were married this weekend. And this announcement and story appeared in the New York Times, with a mention of Mass Match!!
Thanks again for your part in our story!
Read the full story at the nytimes.com »
Happy couple moves to CA together!
posted by Lanie July 2, 2016
You may remember Jared and me who met through Mass Match. We've been wonderfully in life together since January 2013. We have moved to CA where we are both thriving and experience such gratitude in the life we share together. And we send much appreciation to you.
Latest Mass Appeal: Watch
posted by Lanie June 7, 2016
Lanie's latest appearance on Mass Appeal:
Mass Match couple in the press: Greenfield Recorder
posted by Lanie Feb 18, 2016
Heaven on Earth: Sunderland matchmaker nudges true love
BERNARDSTON - Amy White wanted a match made in heaven, but heaven wasn't moving fast enough, so she decided to nudge the universe and called on matchmaker Lanie Delphin for some earthly intervention.
It wasn't until Delphin emailed her a list of potential "matches" that heaven made its move. It was a message from a man named Craig.
"I would go home every day for a month and I would read (Amy's) biography and I'd see her little picture, and I'd go, 'Nope, she ain't gonna go out with me, I'm not gonna push the button,'" he said. "I'd ask God for help every day, I'd say, 'Come on man, push the button, maybe she's the one.'" ... read the full article at the recorder.com »
My talk with PRIME: 3 BIG dating questions in time for Valentine's day
posted by Lanie Feb 2, 2016
Wading back into the dating pool with Lanie Delphin
Lanie Delphin knows what it's like to date at midlife. She met her second husband, Bud, through a national dating service 15 years ago, and the two then decided to start their own locally based service. In August 2016, Mass Match Dating and Matchmaking Service will celebrate 14 years of helping others "find what they are looking for" in a life partner.
A former personnel counselor who once matched people with jobs, Delphin is a graduate of Mount Holyoke College and also holds a Master's Degree in Education from Boston University. At Mass Match she combines her work and personal experience to guide clients through the dating maze. Here's what she told PRIME about getting back out there: read the full article at primeontheweb.com »
posted by Lanie Aug 18, 2015
Hot news on this hot summer day. Music to my matchmaker's ears: Eric and Tiffany married this past Sunday and a new wedding being planned!
posted by Lanie Feb 20, 2015
I paid a visit to Mass Appeal
last week. This time, we talked about Mass Match, tips for finding your soul mate and more... Watch it on wwlp.com »
Todd and Erin - a Mass Match Success Story
posted by Lanie Feb 20, 2015
I've received many thanks from happy couples over the years, but this was the first time it was written on the bride's shoes! Congrats again to past clients Todd and Erin (married 2014) and thank you for sending us your photos. Bud and I had a great time at your wedding and we loved seeing Erin's "matchmaker matchmaker"
Dates with Destiny
posted by Lanie Jan 31, 2015
A great article on Mass Match over at BusinessWest.com Read it here »
posted by Lanie Dec 17, 2014
Thank you for introducing us. You made a miracle happen in our lives. We are making our formal commitment to each other and exchanging rings on Saturday, December 13. We wanted you to know and are sending you a copy an invitation to our celebration in NYC on December 14. We realize this is at the last moment but would love to have you come and celebrate our joy with us. With love, Anna and Harold
posted by Lanie Dec 1, 2014
The Republican talks to us about what we've learned as we hit our "13th year" milestone, why our personal approach remains relevant, how online dating going mainstream actually helped our cause, and more.
Read the interview reprinted on masslive.com »
posted by Lanie Oct 30, 2014
We are thrilled to tell you that after meeting almost 2 years ago, and a six-month engagement, Sean and I were married on Saturday, October 11 and are now in a state of newlywed bliss. Sean has embraced his role as stepfather with incredible grace and love, and we couldn't be happier with our new status as husband and wife.
--Megan and Sean
And in yet more wonderful news, we are also expecting a baby! His name will be Jesse, and the due date is in late February. We are so very grateful that we found each other through Mass Match, and we will keep you posted on baby news as our family grows.
All the best,
Live Well magazine feature: "Dating after 50"
posted by Lanie Sep 3, 2014
The Daily Hampshire Gazette interviews me for their feature on "Dating After 50"
. You'll find it in the fall 2014 "Live Well" magazine. Or you can get the online edition here »
We're saving the date!
posted by Lanie May 1, 2014
A "save the date" postcard just arrived for Bud and I. Another Mass Match members' wedding (Todd and Erin of Worcester, MA will wed in August 2014). We wouldn't miss it. Maybe yours will be next?
A spring proposal
posted by Lanie April 3, 2014
What fun to get this news via email as I was heading off to sleep:
"I wanted to let you know that I proposed to Megan on Sunday, and she said yes! We are planning a fall wedding and we couldn't be happier. Our families are thrilled and we are so grateful to have found each other. Thank you for the part you played in bringing us together. --Sean
I introduced them to each other last year and couldn't be happier for them!
Last week I posted about Craig and Amy's wedding. Here's two more photos and i would like to thank them again for inviting me to attend!
Amy and Craig - a Mass Match wedding!
posted by Lanie March 28, 2014
We were so happy to celebrate with you and Bud! What an incredible gift we have been given, through YOU! How cool is that? Do you just love your job at times like this? I hope so! We would love to share a picture or several - we are still seeing pictures come in! We want to encourage anyone to know that love IS possible with you! With deepest gratitude!
Two weddings in the works
It may not be the bleak mid-winter just yet, but news last week of 2 summer weddings in the works sure brightened my days.
See us featured on WWLP TV's "Mass Appeal" in September
We appeared on Friday, September 20, 2013. Watch it here »
Great news today from a male client...
And from a female member:
You know your work very well!!!! I tried to follow your guidance and it has paid off. I am a very happy man...
I felt like a teenager again, wonderful shared excitement. Smiled all the way home. We're going to take this slow, but will begin to spend more time together. So at this point, I would request you place me on inactive status. I have met several other women, this one seems right in all sorts of ways. I will stay in touch, and keep you posted on the progress.
Best wishes and thank you very much for your help.
I guess slow and steady wins the race, or at least I hope it does. Andy and I have been continuing to see each other and really enjoying getting to know each other. I want to devote my attention to exploring a relationship with him and not see other people at this point. Thanks for connecting us!
I'm sure lots of people have told you to write a book with all of your sage advice about dating and finding the right one. It would be a best seller - you really know what you're doing!
I was going to meet a client when serendipitously I bumped into a Mass Match couple, strolling hand in hand in Northampton, on their way to buy an engagement ring. I couldn't have a better gift!
I hope you meet your Valentine in 2013!
Interview with a 21st century matchmaker - Mass Match on UMass Amherst "Family Business" podcast
Lanie, our founder and matchmaker, sits down with Ira Bryck for the UMass Amherst Family Business Center "Family Business" podcast (Jan. 21 2013).
You can find this interview and more podcasts here:
I heard from 3 couples on Christmas Day to tell me they are now in a happy relationship. I couldn't ask for a better gift. What a way to head into 2013 when, I know, many more couples will be sending me those kind of emails.
Happy New Year to you all!
Two members share their thoughts
I do not want to sound melodramatic but I feel that your service has changed the course of my life in a very important way. Prior to joining, I had not been in a serious relationship for years. Now I am writing to request that my name be taken off your roll because, through Mass Match, I have met someone that matters to me a lot. I want to strongly thank you because I know I never would have met this person without your help.
Jake (Oct 20, 2012)
Dear Lanie, to use Jake's words "without sounding melodramatic", there is no template to describe the experience of having met someone who is special, kind and true and I thank you Lanie for having given me this wonderful opportunity.
A Mass Match April wedding
All photos printed with permission
Lanie, I would have paid you double if I had known I would meet my bride."
Mr. and Mrs. "Wonderful", Agawam, MA
Married April, 2012.
Names withheld per request
Mass Match a winner!
We are so excited to have won Best of the Valley for three years now (2010, 2011, 2012). Thanks to all who voted for Mass Match!
Dave and I are now engaged!
All photos printed with permission
Spring Wedding Bells
Just wanted to give you a quick from our last conversation. Carolyn and I are engaged now. She has relocated to my house in Longmeadow. . Things are going great. A wedding date will be scheduled in mid spring. Thank you so much for your service,
November interview with GazetteNET
Name: Lanie Delphin
Job title, company: Owner/matchmaker, Mass Match Dating and Matchmaking Service
When the business started: 2002
What you do?
Meet with clients, match them, coach them, do the business/advertising end and write articles
Singles 20s-80s from western Mass and neighboring communities in Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont and New York
How you reach out to it?
Radio, print, TV, chambers and word of mouth
What you hope clients say about you?
Clients have told me they are grateful that I charge a rate as affordable as Internet Dating and that I dont charge the thousands of dollars that similar personal dating services charge. Clients have thanked me for responding to them in a timely way. Some have kindly told me to take a break on a weekend or evening. To me, though, running a dating service isn't like selling a pair of shoes.
The concerns of clients are immediate and deeply personal, and I want to get right back to them. No matter where I am or what Im doing, Ill send off an email if I feel its important. Matchmakers cant really take a vacation away from email. And despite being thanked for successful matches that have led to marriages, and even many babies, being thanked for advice taken to heart has meant the most to me. Educating people so that they make good healthy choices for themselves and helping them expand their minds has been a mission. I am a born teacher, I suppose. People thank me for caring. No one thinks they are a dating expert.
Key to success?
Being persistent and working hard at building relationships. If you run a small business you need to give the kind of personal service that you wont usually get with larger companies. The Little Engine that Will. Someone said I was faster than Yahoo.
Competing with the big-box Internet sites, described by some as looking for a needle in a haystack. And if someone is upset with you, not answering in kind.
Misstep you learned from?
I wish I had had a business partner. All other mistakes have been opportunities for tweaking and evolving and thinking outside the box.
What others could learn from you: If you believe in what you are doing, do not give up. It takes a lot of time to build up a business and people will feel the passion you bring to it.
Who helped mentor you professionally?
My husband, friends and family, media representatives and clients. One of my radio reps helped me change the name years ago from Single Search Western Mass. Clients have suggested ways to improve the online registration form. I take all suggestions seriously but, in the end, have to trust my own instincts. My son, who does the website, has been an invaluable support and chief consultant in terms of technology. I couldn't have done Mass Match without him. Who else would answer my questions in the middle of the night?
Top goals for 2012?
To get more people in Mass Match so that more and more people will find the right one. The more clients, the better the chance for folks to find that special someone.
Advice for others seeking business success?
Listen to everyone because you can get stuck in your old ways. Be willing to change.
If you run your own business, be prepared to work very hard. But in terms of tapping into your creativity, nothing will top it. And please, tell all singles to join Mass Match.
Mass Match September wedding
I wanted to let you know that Randy and I are getting married next Saturday 17th. We met in July two years ago. It's been wonderful. Thank you so much."
Cary and Randy, Amherst MA
A hurricane-wedding launches Mass Match 10th year!
Mass Match launched it's 10th year by attending a Mass Match wedding on Sunday aka Irene-Day.
Bud and I were honored to attend a Mass Match wedding Sunday afternoon in Holyoke. Irene ebbed, the sun shone and the bride and groom were radiant.
Today the same road we would have taken to the wedding was closed from flooding. "...Nor wind, nor rain..." keeps a matchmaker from a wedding!
Thank you Steve
I am grateful for the hardworking, intelligent, discerning and conscientious people that you bring to the relationship table.....blessings and gratitude for your efforts.
Steve in the Berkshires
Dec 5, 2011
"Just completed month one at Sam's home in Holyoke. Fantastic! Wish I knew him so long ago. We are making up for lost time, and so very happy. Thank you for all your advice. Biggest advice hint for me was the 5 date rule. It was a struggle for me. I had to talk myself into being open to the risk of "letting" someone get to know me. It was me that had shut down to the idea of having anyone in my life to protect myself from being hurt again. Taking a leap of faith was the best gift I've ever given myself. Key word myself. Being good to me had to come from within. Thank you Lanie."
~Rachel now in Holyoke,
"Lanie, It was a pleasure to meet you, I enjoyed talking with you yesterday and was amazed at how you taught me about relationships in such a short period of time. I am impressed on how dedicated you are to your job and how much you have studied and researched on the relationship between men and women and other type of relationships as well."
~Larry Springfield, MA
Mass Match wins "Best in Valley 2011"
Thanks to all who voted!
Lanie Delphin offers her personal, private dating and matchmaking service as an affordable and secure alternative to Internet dating. "We're not about building virtual relationships," she says. "We're about building healthy relationships."
Read the full story
Read Lanie's latest article,"The Boom Factor"
New article posted March 26th 2011.Read it here →
WGBY TV interviews us for Connecting Point
"Lanie and Bud Delphin founder of the Mass Match local dating service will be joining us in studio on February 14th to give tips on finding the right person, do's & don'ts, and the difference between Mass Match and Internet dating."
WATCH NOW ON Vimeo
A 2011 Baby on the Way - and we're off to another great year!
A client rushed up to me yesterday in a restaurant to tell me his wife was in the car but they wanted to thank me. They had just returned from the doctor and she is 3 months pregnant. Mass Match is sure off to a terrific 2011.
My young (30's) neighbor knocked on my door on Valentine''s Day to tell me her Mass Match fiance proposed to her that morning on top of Mt. Sugarloaf. That was the best gift I could receive for sure.
"Ringing" in the New Year!
What a way for Mass Match to begin 2010: "Joel and I wanted to let you know we got engaged this week and are very happy. My daughter, Carrie, is very happy as well. If it wasn't for you, we would never have met. Thank you so much for getting us together and keep up the good work! We will keep you updated on further developments."
Best Wishes, Sophie
Also Welcoming Lesbians and Gays
We are not only for heterosexuals.
If you are or know of a lesbian or gay single, Mass Match welcomes you as well!
We welcome all singles!!!!!!!!!!
Bud weighs in on Lanie
See Married to a Matchmaker in articles
Another success story!
I just wanted to let you know that Greg and I are going to be getting married in July of 2011. I wanted to thank you for introducing us.
Two weddings and an engagement Oct. 2009
What a month! This is the kind of news that never fails to give me goose-bumps!
One couple emailed: "Just wanted to let you know Gwen and I are getting married in a little over a week - As a matchmaker, can't get much more successful feedback than that!
Thanks for being the one that introduced us."
-Andy and Gwen (in their 40's)
Dance Northampton Couple of the Month
Dance Northampton is offering a free private dance lesson to a Mass Match couple of the Month.
The collaboration will be launched this month.
I will sure look forward to picking a lucky couple each month!
Learn about them on our Partner's Page.
Social dancing, so singles are most welcome.
Mass Match having an exciting 7th year...
Mass Match is now beginning its 8th year. Besides the many weddings, engagements and couples beginning to explore relationships, we had four weddings last summer alone. What better news could there be for a matchmaker? Several marriages in the summer and fall and once a week now I get news of another happy couple.
But like most people, they were discouraged about dating at one time....hang in there with an open heart and remember that positive energy does attract!
Soulmate attraction---Learn how to do it! Margo's Story
Introductory offer for all Mass Match members
Soulmate attraction Coaching for women & men
Finding Your Life Partner
Do you want to manifest a life long relationship?
Do you sense that the right person is out there
and you just don't know how to find them?
This coaching gives you new tools and ways of being to make the process of attracting a worthy prospective partner easier. Using ontological coaching as a basis, the work will examine a wide range of issues, attitudes, and obstacles that we place in our own path to discovery. Ontology looks at our way of being and our well being, helping us to shift our observing self so we can generate a whole new set of actions and results. Please see the attached sheet for testimonials.
◆ Discover new means to identify and assess a prospective partner without losing yourself
◆ Create conversations that give you the information you want to know.
◆ Use language and body dispositions for empowerment
◆ Become a better observer of your self and your potential mates
◆ Receive coaching on issues that concern you
◆ Work with Universal principles to stream line the attraction process
BEGINNING October 2008
For information or free introductory conversation Special:
35% discounted rate at $50 each for 2nd and 3rd sessions.
Please call 413-229-9980
DYNAMIC CHANGE Life Coaching
Margo & Lawrence Davis-Hollander web:coachingvision@info
email: email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org
My Soulmate Attraction Story by Margo Davis Hollander, Life Coach
At age 25 I faced a forced retirement. I had burned through men, clothes, clubs and lots of fast living. Life wasn't working and I was sick. Really sick.
I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The next four years of my life were dedicated to recovering from the debilitating symptoms of the virus. This became my "monastic" phase of life. One thing I got clear about was that I did not want God to send me a "soulmate" candidate until I was mature enough to wisely care for such a relationship, and awake enough to notice a great man when he stood in front of me. This did not happen overnight.
I had experienced plenty of drama and heartache in dysfunctional relationships trying to get men, who had little to offer, to nourish and cherish me. I also frequently walked away from great men who eventually seemed "boring". Boy, was I naive. And by now, thankfully, somewhat humble.
Instead of falling for the next guy I stuck to my plan. My monastic "recovery oriented" life came after the somewhat breathless pace of starting my own design business in college, living in Europe and attending graduate school in Manhattan. In my new quieter life, in a sleepy little village in northwestern Connecticut, I discovered the beauty of rural life and it's many rituals. On a daily basis, a dog and cat were my closest friends. As my body was healing from years of pushing too hard, so were my emotions and soul life. I was learning to become deeply comfortable with my own company and cultivate a more personally responsible sense of maturity.
During this time, I was given an audiotape by a friend that said, "Letter to God" on the case. The tape was all about how to create a written request letter to God and the Universe to attract a harmonious soulmate into one's life. After a year or more, I was almost ready to want a soul mate, so I worked on the letter over several weeks. Adding and subtracting characteristics of my future soulmate from time to time.
About this time, I had begun to have some notable improvement with my health. I was 29, and it was on February 14th of 1991 that I finished the letter. I had made my declaration to the Universe. "This Valentines' Day I would be happy that I was ready to receive a wonderful soulmate into my life." I attended two parties the weekend after I had finished my letter. Actually these were the only two parties I had gone to in 4 years! The second one was a Chinese New Year's party, and a lively spirit pervaded the event. Over the course of the evening I had a couple of conversations with a tall botanist named, Lawrence.
I did not sense that this kind, yet tall, dark and handsome man would be my soulmate. Actually, I thought to the contrary. I had heard about the Lawrence who gave wild parties at this house where the hip-about-town would gather. He told me he was in the process of starting a nightclub, selling macrobiotic pickles to the local health food store, as well as creating a series of erotic T-shirts from Japanese shunga prints. No longer my style!
At some point in our conversation, he mentioned that he had gone to Harvard and studied Ethnobotany. This intrigued me. I had always had a fantasy of studying indigenous cultures and their ways...and botany was my field of interest in the illustration work I did. But the rest of it, ugh! I went to bed early and had had my fill of playboys and club scenes.
We eventually had lunch at a Chinese restaurant. I was explaining to him my theory about men. "There were the A-men who were ambitious and cultured and gave you crumbs, treating you badly, and then there were the B-men who were kind and had a lot to offer, which I ultimately bored of and left." His response turned my theory upside down, "What if there is a C-man?" meaning a man who was both smart and interesting as well as kind and generous of spirit. Was he suggesting that he was this kind of man?
I was a little intrigued. Lawrence had introduced the idea that there could be an interesting man who was also caring and conscious. In our conversations, I learned more about his stability and his nurturing nature. I asked God to help me release my judgments about this new man and I soon began to see him in a new light. Our next meeting was a walk at a nearby Audubon Sanctuary, followed by dinner at an Indian restaurant. We now refer to this evening as our "first date". Our mutual love of nature was soon apparent, and our friendship began to blossom.
I had begun to check my list of criteria for a soulmate. Was this fellow a potential candidate? Well, of the 35 or so items on my list he was a match, actually, for all but three. The non-matches were that he was:
1. Too tall, he was 6'5"
2. He was not a skier-Okay, I could live with that, I wasn't such a big skier anyway.
3. He was not currently immersed in a career that was satisfying
The first two were negotiable. Not deal breakers, but the career question was worth exploring further.
I can remember coming to dinner at his beautiful Berkshire home. He had prepared me this sumptuous vegetarian feast, complete with apple crisp for dessert. Once I knew Lawrence for a little while, I soon realized he was the Jewish grandmother I had always wanted. Very nurturing in so many ways. Then I saw him interact with his two beautiful red and white fluffy cats. I was moved and intimidated all at once. He was so tender with them. I had never witnessed that kind of tenderness in my life ever before... in my family or among friends. I was peering into a secret of life that I desperately wanted to know more about. The concept of receiving and being cherished and cherishing others. Love instead of something else.
My questions were pointed with Lawrence, as were his. At some point during that dinner Lawrence said to me, "so are you interested in a casual relationship?" My reply was clear, "No I am looking to meet the man I want to marry." Now, I was not thinking it was likely to be him. There still were all of these unsavory myths about him, which I did not like. Yet his goodness chipped away at my critical mind.
I have often wondered about what would have happened if I had not been specific about my goal of meeting my soulmate at that early juncture. Had I stated, "Sure, I wanted a casual relationship", would our relationship have progressed differently? Would we have not been so wise in each interaction in regard to building trust and honoring each other's boundaries? Would it have failed before it even got started?
Yet his career was still a question. So when he told me he had recently heard from Harvard University and would soon be required to complete his masters thesis or loose the opportunity to complete it-I saw a window of opportunity for "helping" this man to find a better path. Yet, I resisted. I had participated in too many codependent relationships where I would try to help the man with little to offer to become more stable so that he could eventually give something to me. I decided to tread lightly with Lawrence and his future career. And interestingly, over time he chose to complete his thesis and from that process was inspired to found a non-profit organization that would become his inspired livelihood for 13 years, a career that was satisfying.
We were engaged within the first 18 months of meeting, and married a year later. We attended a relationship workshop together 2 months after we began dating. We both knew that we wanted this to be different from other relationships that had failed to thrive. With many shared interests and many distinct differences we had to learn be committed to a common vision of our relationship.
We have been married for 16 years now, with two wonderful sons who are 7 and 10. Aside from integrity, and good will we have had to learn how to keep our sights on staying inside the box of love and appreciation, re-committing daily to return there when either of us drift into other states. As life coaches with a commitment to supporting individuals and couples in creating nourishing relationships, we are humbled daily watching our marriage serve as a workshop for personal and professional development.
Some key lessons I learned form this process;
1. Humbly, commit your criteria for a soulmate to paper.
2. Look at places in your life where you can dump your own baggage, or non-skillful habits and behaviors. Whichever character traits you wish your future soulmate to possess, you must also cultivate in yourself.
3. Learn to love yourself and receive.
4. Practice loving kindness with pets, friends, colleagues etc...
5. Create a field of generosity in your life.
6. Practice forgiveness for any former relationships that may be impinging your success in being free to cherish and be cherished.
7. Be patient and thank the Universe in advance for delivering your soulmate to you.
8. Practice Humility and Curiosity. We don't have to be right all of the time. Just curious.
9. Work with a coach if you can who can gently support you to confront your old patterns/beliefs about love that no longer serve you.
For more information about the Soulmate Attraction Process or to become part of our Soulmate Attraction Classes you can email us or visit our website: Coachingvision.info
Margo and Lawrence Davis-Hollander
Dynamic Change Life Coaching
729-Ashley Falls Rd.
Ashley Falls, MA 01222
Dating Wise Blog
New technology and old- fashioned matchmaking. Quite a match. Bud came up with the title and it is perfect, don't you think?
I'm starting a blog on maslive.com and sure hope it becomes interactive. With over half the adult population single for the first time in history, it is important for folks to have the tools for dating so they make healthy choices for themselves.
Dating tips for Women and Men
Email Lanie for the new Dating Tips for Women or Men if you don't have them and I will send them to you.
Mass Match Babies
I just got news this week of two Mass Match babies on the way.
That's as good as it gets!
Google and Mass Match
According to Google, "If you think about it, love is just another search problem."
Lanie and google, now there's a match!
Summer Wedding Bells
Ending our 6th year with a bell!
Jeff and Amber, married July 30.
This is the news I love to get!
"We owe you a debt of gratitude for your inspired match. Keep up the good work, and keep nudging people into happiness.
I can say, from the bottom of my heart, that you are actively making the world a better place.
We wish only good fortune on you and your clients. Everyone deserves to be this happy."
New Year Thoughts for 2009
As a matchmaker, I am often asked what I have learned in my six years doing this business. Well, I've certainly learned a lot about human nature.
I have found that most of us are quite judgmental when it comes to folks we have never met, no matter how open we think we are. After all, we have nothing to go on but our own personal perceptions and projections and it is so easy to misunderstand . Try not to judge the macrocosm from the microcosm. Just because your last girlfriend who had blonde hair disliked your piano playing doesn't mean your future beloved can't have golden tresses, right?
We often don't seem to give each other a break but instead let our minds run ahead, analyzing every breath and word and misspelled word -- quick to rule each other out and I think Internet Dating has helped create a culture of dismissal and superficiality.
Many of us are actually quite curt when communicating on email or the phone -- that is our style or how we are used to conducting ourselves in business.
I've spoken to lots of clients on the phone or email who seem quite abrupt and intimidating and yet when I meet them in person they are sprawled all over their chair, as relaxed and friendly as can be. This was not the picture I had in my mind before I met them.
Might we have ruled out Will Smith or Julia Roberts if we had chatted beforehand? Or Nelson Mandela or Toni Morrison? You betcha. So take it from me, give people a chance. You will often be so pleasantly surprised.
But here's the rub---- and here is where it becomes complicated: when we do get in relationships, we can be too forgiving and not judgmental enough. I have heard stories of betrayal of affection, of physical and emotional abuse and money disappearing....and yet we stay in relationship, giving second chances and third... often because we see the good in the other person as well, and very often because of good old human inertia. The devil you know seems so much better than the devil you don't.
So here's the lesson I've learned form observation : give people a break and let them in the door if they seem upbeat, positive and see if chemistry is growing over 3-5 dates. But paradoxically, go slowly and use your head. Once you get in a relationship, it will be much harder to get out of it. Trust me. Serial monogamy is the modus operandi today----and that is because we tend to rush so we don't have to date anymore. Not too many of us love dating, but it is actually more efficient to go slowly so you don't have to do it again in 3 years.
New Year's Resolutions
Did you know that according to a recent issue of Health Magazine, only sixteen percent of those who are single are looking for a relationship? That's why striking up a conversation with someone appealing at the supermarket may not work for the long term. They might have no interest in a real relationship. Signing up with your local dating service, doing personal ads or even Internet Dating instead might be a great idea. These are folks who are saying they are ready to meet someone. Timing, as they say, is everything. Proactive people take charge of their lives and our culture provides very few good ways for people to meet on their own.
Remember you have to feel good about yourself to attract someone else. Might be time to join the gym, to work through your "stuff" in more ways than one. Read Manifest your Destiny by Wayne Dyer or the Secret by Byrne. Believe the universe will provide and then nudge it a bit.
Look for the person of integrity and kindness, who shares your values and some interests, who communicates when things go wrong and who has dealt proactively with any addiction or other negative personal issues.
Try not to sabotage yourself re their height, hair color, profession...and remember, a big bank account does not mean a generous heart and does not necessarily mean they are a person of integrity. All you have to do is read the newspapers to figure that one out.
I hope 2009 brings you your heart's desire. And lots of your own insights re your own human nature.
Valentine's Day Blues?
To me, Valentine's Day is a mixed bag and can be a set up by media hype for a day of misery, especially for single folks who would like to be in a relationship. Those who are single need to remember that for the first time in history over half the adult population is in the same boat as they are. And many married folks are not in healthy relationships, so it is best not to romanticize or sentimentalize about anyone else's situation. It would be a big mistake to rush into something just so you can receive candy and flowers, only to pay a huge price for them down the road.
So if you are single and reading this, then hopefully you did not make that mistake.
Here's the good news: You have the year ahead before you have to face V Day again. If you want to be in a healthy relationship, then take the necessary steps to meet new people. If you stay home, you might only meet the delivery folks -- and they are probably taken.
If you are feeling vulnerable, I hope you spend the day with friends and family -- the people who love you. Maybe do something special for someone else or yourself. As with any other time of stress, helping others gets your mind off yourself. Didn't Obama say that? It's win/win: Keeping yourself upbeat and positive, active and generous of spirit is what will attract others.
Even if you are dating, I would advise people who just started dating to make light of the whole notion of Valentin's Day. I sure hope if you fall into that category that you don't go overboard. I certainly hope there are no diamond purchases on your credit card. We tend to couple off too fast, long before we have time to determine if the person we are with really makes sense for us. Everyone should be putting their best foot forward, because as Cupid knows so well, positive energy attracts. Trust me I didn't let my husband see my dark side until way down the road. By going slowly and meeting and dating different people, we can use our heads and figure out which of their little quirks we learn about down the road are cute, which are merely annoying, and which dark sides are downright unacceptable. Over time we will figure out who makes the most sense for us. We all know that getting out of relationships is a lot harder than getting into them. So I would not put pressure on the dating life by adding Valentine's Day expectations to the mix. I would err on the side of going "under board" and not rushing.
Once you get in a good relationship, hopefully by next Valentine's Day, then celebrate if you choose. Celebrate, in fact, as many days and moments as you can. It is how you celebrate and live every day that counts, not giving too much meaning to one hyped-up occasion. Instead honor all the ways in which you give and receive love.
Didn't that wise old guy Confucius say that?
Did you read about us on the front page of the Berkshire Eagle?
Did you read about us on the front page of the Berkshire Eagle? Also a great story in the Ledger...terrific coverage as Mass Match begins it's 6th year--once a week now I hear of another happy couple...and that makes me really happy.
Massmatch on the cover of Parade magazine!
Yes, that was me on the cover of March 12 Parade Magazine, the annual "What People Earn" issue. And yes, I'm not exactly up there on the salary scale. (I think I was sharing the low end with the part-time belly dancer. ) But that's because I want to make love affordable for folks.King Kong and Angelina Jolie made the cover too, but hey, despite their salaries, they don't have the profound thrill of helping people find the right one.
Wondering where to take a first date?
Looking for a fun, social atmosphere to spend time with your date? Look no further. We've hosted plenty of first, second, third, fourth.....dates, and we strive to make sure your experience at Spare Time Northampton is a memorable one. Utilizing our recently updated bowling center, we provide the ambience for a non-discriminatory activity in a warm and welcoming environment. With our full service bar and snack bar, we provide complimentary services for your dating experience. Call Eric today for more information @ 413-584-4830 or e-mail us at email@example.com
Mass Match has made TV!
Mass Match has made TV again!
Channel 22 News Jan. 08, and Look for us on Channel 3 News on Valentines Day 2008.
Inside edition Aug.7 touts me and the Parade Mag article. And a photo-journalist from the Hallmark Station came out on Father's Day from Boston a year ago to spend the day with Bud and me and one of our newly-together young couples.
We will be featured along with some others on their New Morning Show -- the date to be determined. The word is sure getting out! Oprah here we come.
New Director of Marketing and Sales...
Mass Match is delighted to welcome Vicky Applebee as our new Director of Marketing and Sales. Vicky is trained as a Certified Matchmaker from the Matchmaking Institute and is a member of the National Board of Certified Matchmakers. She is a graduate of Bay Path College and her background includes Business & Marketing Research. Vicky has been in a successful, happy marriage for over 15 years. She says that her "passionate hope" is to have more people in Western Mass be as lucky as I have been to find that special someone".
Inspiring client feedback...
A client (former, now) told me today he'd never been so in love in his life---and he's in his 60's and has had many loving relationships.
And a young couple reported in, they said, too late re their past wedding.
At any age, finding the right person is well worth the time and effort!
New service offered...
We are excited to welcome our latest match: Jess Dods, Master Administrator of the MBTI (the most extensively used Personality Preferences Profile in the world). Jess will offer this optional service for increased self-awareness to Mass Matchers at a substantial discount. [Read More]
Mass Match Second Annual Singles Night with the Falcons
Friday April 11
-6:00-7:00 pm Shakagos Martini Bar, 23 Hampden Street, Springfield -- only $2 per person.
-7:30pm vs. Hartford Wolf Pack - MassMutual Center, Springfield, discount ticket $10.00
-Contact Chris Thompson at the Falcons office to order tickets:
(413) 739-3344 or firstname.lastname@example.org
-Deadline to order tickets: Wed. April 9. 2008
Parking is only $2 in the Civic Center
PS There is inexpensive safe parking with a police presence at the Center
Two young couples' first marriages and more...
Thought you should know Sally and I officially became Mr. and Mrs. Sheen July 28, 2007. Needless to say, we think you're the best!
This fall we had news of two young couples' first marriages and also a mid-life 2d marriage -- as well as a young lesbian couple moving to Boston together. What a way to start our 6th year!
MASS MATCH SINGLES NIGHT WITH FALCONS
-Saturday, April 14th
-5:30 - 6:30 pm Shakagos Martini Bar, 23 Hampden Street, Springfield
-7pm Falcons vs. Providence Bruins - MassMutual Center, Springfield
-$10 (includes buffet and ticket to the game)
-Contact Chris Thompson at the Falcons office to order tickets: (413) 739-3344 or email@example.com
-Deadline to order tickets: Thursday, April 12th
PS There is inexpensive safe parking with a police presence at the Center