MBTI

Myers-Briggs personality type and best fit relationships

Below are some brief descriptions of the 16 types, along with the best fit, possible fit and least likely fit for a relationship based on personality type. Gender is not a critical factor in this method- type is reliable regardless of gender. I have also included the percentage of the US population for a given type, to aid you in your search.

ISTJ

Responsible, organizing
Efficient and practical
Take things seriously, expect others to do this also
Traditional and conforming
May not be emotionally available, can hold rigid points of view
Like formal and informal acknowledgements- cards and 'thank you'
Under stress: may withdraw, push too hard to get things done

Best types for a relationship: ESTJ, ISTJ, INTJ, ISTP, ESTP
Possible types for a relationship: ENTJ, INTP, ENFJ, INFJ, ISFJ, ISFP, ENTP
Least likely types for a relationship: ESFJ, ESFP, ENFP, INFP
Percentage of the US population: 12-16%

ISTP

Logical, realistic- natural trouble shooters
Quiet and analytical observers
Can be detached and overly pragmatic
Can be uncomfortable dealing with their emotions
Occasionally seen spontaneous, playful side
Like to be acknowledged for their problem-solving capabilities
Under stress: can feel trapped, move impulsively

Best types for a relationship: ESTJ, ISTJ, ENTJ, ESTP
Possible types for a relationship: ESFJ, ISFP, INTJ, ISFJ
Least likely types for a relationship: ISTP, ESFP, ENTP, INTP, ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP
Percentage of the US population: 5-7%

ESTP

Enthusiastic, hands on, adaptable realists
Enjoy real-life experiences, new activities and challenges
Happiest when they are in the moment
Friendly, talkative and outgoing
Can be too eager for the next experience
Want to be respected for their need for freedom
Under stress: may become excessively impulsive

Best types for a relationship: ISTJ, ESTP, ISTP, ESFP
Possible types for a relationship: ESTJ, ISFP, ENTJ, ENTP, INTP, ISFJ
Least likely types for a relationship: ESFJ, INTJ, ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP
Percentage of the US population: 5-7%

ESTJ

Great talkers with strong opinions
Dependable and responsible
Find comfort in family routines and traditions
Organized and orderly, may try to control their partner
Can be inflexible and impatient
Want to be acknowledged for keeping things running smoothly
Under stress: may become hypercritical and controlling

Best types for a relationship: ISTJ, ESFJ, ISFJ, ENTJ, INTJ, ISTP
Possible types for a relationship: ENTP, INTP, ESTP, ESFP, ISFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ESTJ, ENFJ, INFJ, INFP, ENFP
Percentage of the US population: 10-12%

ISFJ

Strong need to belong and to have harmony
Very good with details and the here-and-now
Trust the lessons of the past, rather than try new things
Amazing command of the facts
Do not like confrontation
Need to be appreciated for their contributions
Under stress: can become rigid

Best types for a relationship: ISFJ, ENFJ, ESTJ
Possible types for a relationship: ESFJ, ESTP, ISFP, INFJ, INFP, ESFP, ISTJ, ISFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, INTP, ENFP
Percentage of the US population: 9-12%

ISFP

Gentle, sensitive, compassionate
Down to earth, prefer action to words
Modest and reserved
Can take a long time to get to know
Hide their vulnerability behind an air of detachment
Want a deep and intimate connection with their partners
Under stress: can become passive and withdraw

Best types for a relationship: ESFP, ISFP
Possible types for a relationship: ESTP, ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTP, ENFJ, INFJ, INFP, ISFJ, ISTJ, ENFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, INTP
Percentage of the US population: 5-7%

ESFP

Enthusiasm for the world of real-life experiences
Energetic and fun-loving, practical
Spontaneous and flexible
Can be frustrated by rules and regulations
Very outgoing, "people people"
Special concern for children
Can show a lack of commitment or seem impulsive
Under stress: may become excessively impulsive, over commit

Best types for a relationship: ESTP, ISFP
Possible types for a relationship: ESTJ, ESFJ, ISFJ, ESFP, ENTP, ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ISTJ, ISTP, ENTJ, INTJ, INTP
Percentage of the US population: 6-9%

ESFJ

Care intensely about people; generously support them
Desire harmony- this is essential to their well-being
Take their work seriously, think that others should also
Traditions are important; as are family events and holidays
Can be comfortable as leaders
Can be seen as intolerant (based on their clear sense of right and wrong)
Under stress: can become excessively emotional, see only the negative

Best types for a relationship: ESTJ, ENFP
Possible types for a relationship: ISFJ, ESFJ, ENFJ, INFP, ISFP, ISTP, ESFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ESTP, ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, INTP, INFJ, ISTJ
Percentage of the US population: 10-12%

INFJ

Deep concern for people and relationships
Live for insight and imagination
Love of learning
Deeply concerned with fellowship and harmony; caring and compassionate
Concerned with the growth of others
Idealists at heart; value trust in relationships
Can be seen as stubborn about their own correctness
Under stress: may be surprisingly critical, can become self-absorbed

Best types for a relationship: ENTP, ENFP, INFJ, INFP, ENFJ
Possible types for a relationship: ISFJ, ESFP, ISFP, ENTJ, INTJ, INTP, ISTJ
Least likely types for a relationship: ESTJ, ESFJ, ESTP, ISTP
Percentage of the US population: 2-3%

INFP

Skilled communicators
Often idealistic
Harmony in relationships is important
May not be able to get their own needs met
Excited by new ideas and possibilities
Creativity is important; artistic activities
Don't tread on their values- they will bite you
Under stress: can become outwardly critical of others

Best types for a relationship: ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ
Possible types for a relationship: ISFJ, ESFJ, ESFP, ISFP, ENTP, INTP
Least likely types for a relationship: ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, ISTP, ENTJ, INTJ
Percentage of the US population: 4-5%

ENFP

Love to talk about what is going on in their lives
Will encourage their mates to grow
Need to feel encouragement
Don't like to say it when their feelings are hurt
Tend to withdraw to process hurt feelings in private
Need to hear how much they mean to someone
Like spontaneous demonstrations of love and respect
Under stress: may have difficulty saying no and take on too many projects

Best types for a relationship: INFJ, INFP, ENFJ, ENFP, ESFJ
Possible types for a relationship: ENTJ, ENTP, INTJ, INTP,ESFP, ISFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ISTJ, ESTJ, ISTP, ESTP, ISFJ
Percentage of the US population: 6-8%

ENFJ

Strong desire for harmony
Love to talk with and learn from others
Exceptional people skills
Make decisions based on personal values
Idealists who need active people contact
Exude charm, but can overwhelm others with too much enthusiasm
Under stress: can become rigidly narrow, emotional and irritable

Best types for a relationship: ISFJ, ENFJ, ENTJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP
Possible types for a relationship: ESFJ, ESFP, ISFP, INTP, ISTJ, ENTP
Least likely types for a relationship: ESTJ, ESTP, ISTP, INTJ
Percentage of the US population: 3-5%

INTJ

Have assumptions about the way things could be (strong opinions)
Need to be around other competent people
Avoid interpersonal conflict, but love a spirited debate
Can need to feel in control, and be inflexible
Can appear to be challenging and insensitive (generally not true underneath)
Tend to avoid emotional risks, tend to keep thoughts and insights to themselves
They may appear stubborn
Under stress: may become over-structured; paralyzed by seeking perfection before taking action

Best types for a relationship: ESTJ, INTJ, ISTP, ENTJ
Possible types for a relationship: INTP, INFJ, INFP, ENFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTP, ESFP, ISFP, ENTP, INFP, ENFJ
Percentage of the US population: 3-4%

INTP

Flexible and adaptable
Want to make sense of concepts, and the world
Logical and analytical- want others to be logical
May have great powers of concentration
Like abstract and symbolic thinking
Often non-traditional
May be seen as aloof; out of touch with the world
Under stress: may feel overwhelmed and misunderstood

Best types for a relationship: ENTP, INTP, INTJ
Possible types for a relationship: ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, ENTJ, ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ESFJ, ISFJ, ISTP, ESFP, ISFP
Percentage of the US population: 5-6%

ENTP

Excited by possibilities, anything new
Eternal optimists
Value knowledge and competence
Gregarious, sociable; look self-confident
Tend to view people in an objective manner, so they can appear insensitive
May argue for the sake of argument
Under stress: may take on too many projects, drive themselves to exhaustion

Best types for a relationship: ENTP, INTP, INFJ
Possible types for a relationship: ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, ESFP, ENTJ, ENFP, INFP, ENFJ
Least likely types for a relationship: ESFJ, ISFJ, ISTP, ISFP, INTJ
Percentage of the US population: 4-7%

ENTJ

Good at analyzing and bringing order
Logical
Big picture thinkers
Energetic planners and builders
Value competence and intelligence
Hold themselves to high standards
Confident and assertive
Under stress: may become hypercritical of themselves and others

Best types for a relationship: ESTJ, ISTP, ENTJ, ENFJ, INTJ
Possible types for a relationship: ISTJ, ESTP, ENTP, INTP, INFJ, ENFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ESFJ, ISFJ, ESFP, ISFP, INFP
Percentage of the US population: 3-5%

Jess Dods, administrator of the Myers Briggs

The Myers Briggs (MBTI) personality preferences profile

Our friend Jess Dods is a a consummate coach, consultant, trainer, and master administrator of the Myers Briggs (MBTI) personality preferences profile.

To find out your type, and to get more information on what type is the best potential fit for you, as well as what you bring to a relationship, contact Jess Dods at 413-977-9273, or email at jessdods@charter.net. Jess also works with couples, on the phone or in person, to identify the strengths and challenges of a relationship, based on your personality preferences and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

Sources: "Looking at Type: The Fundamentals"
Charles Martin, Ph.D.
Center for Applications of Psychological Type, Gainesville, FL 1997

"Just Your Type"
Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger
Little, Brown and Company, Boston, MA 2000

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